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Don’t get him wrong. Pratchett, 62, likes Americans. He just doesn’t think they’re cut out for the subtleties of Discworld, the fantasy universe that has spawned 37 novels, two previous Sky1 films (Hogfather in 2006 and The Colour of Magic in 2008) and global book sales of 65million. He still shudders when recalling a sample Hollywood script for his 30th novel, 2003’s The Wee Free Men, which put a ‘terrible, Disney’ spin on his precious plottings. ‘It was everything the book wasn’t,’ he says, witheringly. ‘Apart from the big period dramas, it’s very rare now to walk onto a location film set,’ says Poirot actor David Suchet, who plays villain Reacher Gilt – and is sporting a very un-Poirot eye-patch and goatee when we bump into him.Suchet made his small-screen debut in the golden, cash-rich 1970s, so he knows more than most how TV has had to cut its cloth for leaner times.
‘They still build studio sets, of course, but it’s not often that you get a complete set of this size,’ he explains. For an actor, that just adds to the authenticity. ‘You feel that you can really enter that world.’The multi-coloured, panto-ish quality of Pratchett’s characters also makes him attractive to actors. This partly accounts for the stellar cast in Going Postal: Charles Dance as scary city patriarch Lord Vetinari, Little Dorrit’s Claire Foy as sassy golem protector Adora Belle Dearheart and Andrew Sachs as hapless postman Groat, to name a few.Pratchett plots are fantastical, the settings riotous. It’s escapism, or at least a change from the social realism that TV so often goes in for. Though, as often with Pratchett, some real-world points are being made, too.
Lipwig’s job is to fix the Post, which has been obliterated by Gilt’s superior ‘Clacks’ service, a sort of Discworld telegraph system. It’s Pratchett’s lament for the decline of our own postal service, and a swipe at our obsession with emails and texts.‘Does anyone send letters any more?’ he says, when asked why Going Postal was the novel he most wanted to see on screen. Recently, he admitted that his worsening Alzheimer’s has made typing near-impossible.
But it’s fair to say that he was never a fan of instant messaging, anyway. ‘I must put this very lightly, but you have to be of a certain age and mental capacity to do all that’ (He makes frantic gestures on an imaginary phone.)This too explains why he favours plucky ingenuity over Hollywood dollars. One of the trickiest scenes in Going Postal, for instance, has Lipwig half-drowned in a ghostly torrent of letters. Amazingly, little of this was achieved with computer graphics (CGI).
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Mostly it was a sheet smothered in post, held up by props men.‘We called it the Mail Pie,’ Coyle reveals later. ‘It was about the size of a room, and there was a hole in the middle to sit in while people threw things at me.’ Not that this should diminish the scale of the task. Some two million envelopes were purchased for the Post Office scenes; a team of artists spent weeks stamping them individually with real Discworld addresses.The producers also eschewed CGI for Mr Pump, Lipwig’s golem parole officer. ‘He’ was a 6’7” actor wearing a prosthetic suit. Inside, a water-cooling system kept Hungary’s 40-degree summer at bay; but only for 10 minutes at a time, since the heat was overwhelming.The result, you feel, is more real than anything CGI could have achieved. In any case, Pratchett approves.
‘Like walking around inside your own head,’ he says of the set, which he visited when filming an end-of-episode cameo with Charles Dance. Dance couldn’t help chuckling at the six takes it took for the author to cross the floor dressed as a postman. But Pratchett had a friendly putdown for him when the scene was complete.‘Charles,’ he said to him afterwards – no doubt with a wry twinkle – ‘when you write a novel, I shall help you with the first chapter.’- Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal is on Sky1/Sky1HD on Sunday and Monday at 6.00pm.